Weddings For Dummies

by Reception Chronicles

It is often said that every little girl dreams of their fairy tale wedding.  I don’t know if I was born without this gene or if I missed the dream wedding seminar for girls in Kindergarten because I have no idea what it takes to plan a wedding or notice the intricate details that goes into this day.

From what I have seen of weddings from TLC, movies and from my personal life, there are many things that don’t make sense or make me cringe beyond reason.  The tears, the sappy vows, the uncomfortably posed pictures of a bride and groom draped on the sand or hanging off a tree or staring off into space with a blue steel face, the selection of food, the flowers, themes, motifs…I am confusing myself just typing these wedding ideas.

Apparently my idea of a wedding has been described as a ‘hillbilly wedding’ from shocked family members and even the husband to be himself.  My ideal wedding is stock the bar full of top shelf booze, get Frank’s Philadelphia Steak and Cheese Subs to cater (seriously, who doesn’t like a steak and cheese hoagie?), have a good band and just party the night away.  No big cake, no crazy flowers and no sappy vows.  We are getting married so I don’t feel like I should compare my future husband to a sailboat and make some cheesy metaphor of him being the sails and being the wind beneath my wings…ugh.

I have been told by my frustrated fiance that it seems I would be perfectly happy getting hitched then going to T.G.I Fridays.  I like Fridays but not that much.  Also seeing the prices for everything and how it all adds up, it makes me extremely queasy and also makes me want to get into the wedding business.  These people must make bank!

At the end of the day, people love weddings.  There must be something rewarding or amazing about the whole process or else no one would have them so yes I will somehow manage to put this all together.  After seeing my niece in a flower girl dress, I can’t explain it but my wedding gene may have kicked in even though it is 23 years late. If everything goes wrong and it ends up going down in flames, I will just blame her for it all in 20 years I guess.

Only question is…where do I start?