6 Signs of the Drunken Boyfriend/Husband
by Reception Chronicles
1. Denial Ain’t Just A River In Egypt
The famous last words. As they cling onto the wall, have one eye closed and enunciate every syllable, the classic “i’m not drunk” quote marks the beginning of a long night ahead.
2. We Landed On The Moon
The astronaut walking occurs when your man tries to walk in a way to prove they are not drunk but instead appears to have just landed on the moon.
3. Cross Eyed
This is a clear sign of a drunken boyfriend because not only are they looking at you, they are looking at someone else across the room at the same time. This is usually intermixed with some I love you’s and drunk denials. I find that if you continually clap near their face, they will snap out of it but it is only a temporary remedy so portion them wisely throughout the night.
4. The Travelling Brewery
The worst part of the drunken boyfriend/husband is when they tuck up in bed with you smelling as if they have taken a bath is booze. They exhale it and sweat it out to the point that you feel like you are suffering from second hand intoxication.
5.I Just Need Some Water
The dehydration begins when he puts on an innocent face and says “i just need some water” when in fact it is gallons of water that is consumed.
6. I Loooove You
Of course they love you but it would be nice to hear it sometimes when your fella isn’t hanging onto the wall or cross eyed. It is at this time they try to convince you and emphasize how much they love you. If you record these feelings of love and play it in their sober state, it just embarrasses everybody so just leave it as a drunken mishap.