Woman Double Talk: What We REALLY Think

by Reception Chronicles

As a woman, I admit I am one of many women that are completely guilty of Double Talk.  I don’t know why we do it but it just happens.  Along with the many women that suffer from this condition, we must not forget that our men are also affected.  To shed some awareness to the ladies and bring a beacon of hope to men, here is a basic translation of the most used women double talk.  I hope it helps.

+I hate Valentine’s Day = I LOVE Valentine’s Day! Make it a big deal.

+I don’t want a big fancy wedding  = I want a big fancy wedding that will bankrupt us, my family and yours.

+It’s…very nice  =  It’s tacky. Get rid of it.

+I’m fine = I’m not fine.

+I’m sorry =  Of course I’m not sorry.  

+That looks so cute on you = That’s the ugliest thing I have ever seen.  

+Whatever =  Not whatever. It’s a very big deal

+It’s okay, I don’t need your jacket  =  I’m developing hypothermia and frostbite you imbecile

+You just got a call from a private number = What’s her name? You’re cheating on me! Stop the lies!

+Yeah you should go on that golf trip =  You step foot out that door, you will be so sorry.

+That definitely doesn’t make you look fat  = Muffin Top, Pudge Belly, Double Chins, Bingo Arms, Cankles, Bubble Butt.

+Yes, she does have a nice figure = Stop staring you pervert. 

+I’m not hungry anymore = I’m starving to death and it’s your fault

+Who is this girl that wrote on your facebook wall? =  Who is this outrageous whore?

+Do I look fat in this? = Say no or else pray that it is a quick death

+This fight was so stupid. Friends again? = I was right the whole time. You are now on my list.

+I forgive you  =  Nope, I will hold this grudge for an impractical amount of time

+Of course I love it   =  Where is the receipt?